Confession Niner: Baby Barrowing Does Not Look Appealing at 25 Let Alone 18

Admittedly, there are very few television shows that I make an absolute point to watch … “The Hills”, “The Bachelorette” and “Greek” would fall into this category and normally meant I was heading over to my friend’s ‘Village’ to watch – it was like our own little date night where we would yell and scream at the TV; this was so sacred even CP knew not to call between certain hours once a week. Surprisingly, it was amazingly therapeutic; especially when Graham Bunn was wondering around shirtless and grinning. (Yee Haw!)

This summer, I developed a full blown love for the experiment surrounding “The Baby Borrowers”. Quick synopsis of the show, much like all of NBC's other shows it was stolen from the BBC - is five barely legal couples are given a house, expected to act like adults and spend three days taking care of babies, toddlers, pre-teens, teens and the elderly. The teen couples are forced to act like real parents, actually work at pre-determined jobs and attempt to balance life – it was the ‘Real World’ drama minus the blatant alcoholism and threesomes. Wednesday night was the season finale and I cried, not because the show was ending, but because the elderly people were so darn cute and lovable. Each of them radiated love for their significant other and it was amazing to watch. The couples who were still together each had 60-plus years stuck to each other since walking down the isle! In Hollywood that would probably equal to the entire cast of every ‘Star Wars’ movie ever made, including extras and all of those behind the scenes … combined … twice.

At the conclusion of the show, the producers gave the obligatory updates on the couples and not one of them were still dating after enduring this social experiment together – how weird is that? Maybe it is because I am finally understanding what tools we all are in college and just how destroyed our views on relationships are, but I actually had a hard time wrapping my head around this. How is it possible to spend three weeks with someone, removed from all of the comforts of your own true home, work together, become closer, experience something most others are not given a chance to live (then legally walk way from) and just call it quits? In all seriousness, I would still be willing to baby sit (don’t look at me to spawn something anytime soon) with CP – as long as we could give the kids back, much like I do with my favorite little nephew. But my point is I am not sure if I am upset that these kids realized just how ready they weren’t to be grown-ups, or if I am psyched for them that their eyes were opened and there are going to be that many fewer children in the world born before they need to be to parents who can't take care of themselves let alone another human being.

Watching the show really made me think about if I had been ‘Baby Borrowing’ at 18-20 like these kids were and just what my experience might have been like … (if this was Wayne’s World, we would all wiggle our fingers and repeat the phrase Woo Dee Lee Doot over and over again until we were in a flashback.)

Woo Dee Lee Doot Woo Dee Lee Doot Woo Dee Lee Doot Woo Dee Lee Doot


First off, my partner more than likely would have been the fella who was lucky enough to share time with me for random months over a four year span. Neither of us knew what was going on in life, but we were both afraid to divide and conquer the world alone forcing us to make the other’s life miserable. No, John Hughes did not write our tale, it reflected more the style of Quentin Tarantino – instead of a tale of young love gone right, we were a mess of strange lines, a plot line no one could fathom and left our audience guessing after walking away from us. Today, we can both fully admit what a mistake this was and how it never brought out the best of either of us. Much like these young ladies, I can clearly remember talking to him, after a few hurricanes, and he had me convinced he was going to propose on my next birthday – I was totally excited and had not thought about what P-R-O-P-O-S-E would really mean! What they hell were we thinking even talking about all of that when we were more concerned with pissing off the other one on a daily basis? If memory serves me correctly, Coco had locked me out of the house because I was talking too much during her favorite TV program, “Law and Order”, and was using him to baby sit me. She, being my better half, would have made a much better mother, despite that one Brittany like act. Actually, if she and I were to both adopt plants tomorrow I am sure hers would sprout flowers twice before mine was even watered once; she just has that mothering instinct, mine might be just a little bit more dormant.

More or less, he and I would have turned the show into an episode of “Law and Order” (You’re welcome Coco, double your pleasure, double your fun!) because I am pretty sure one of us would have not come out of it alive; at the very least, one of us might have lost a limb and we could have been a knockoff of “Scrubs”. Maybe our track record does not speak well for us, (because it really wasn’t all that great) and we would not have been invited to do the show, but these other kids, I really hoped a few would have a chance and make it just a little longer.

Back to the show, I honestly think this was a great idea and is the one reality show that every high schooler/college student should be forced to watch.

In the event CP really does become governor (he is back to threatening once a week; I am back to mentally shopping three times a week – I still can’t make up my mind on the inauguration get-up.), I am going to ghost write write a bill (not sure if this is possible but I will make it happen somehow) that will push Sex Ed that much farther and make kids live this.
(I am thinking the outfit for the introduction of such a program is going to need some matronly support, maybe Barbara (the non-twin) will be my muse.) ... If we could only get Elle Woods on our side, we might get the right attention. I mean she did stop animal testing, this would be a piece of cake.