In the grand scheme of things, last night was no different.
Luckily I can say I did not sit and fixate myself on the show I am about to mention, but, the crap was on as I finished reorganizing my apartment (I like to think it looks a little more grown-up now) … drum roll please … Celebrity Family Feud. Quickly, the Family Feud hosts I can think of off the top of my head are as follows –
that short loud guy, Al the Flannel Loving Sidekick from Home Improvement (nee Richard Karn) and the white haired guy with the radio announcer who played Elaine’s boss on Seinfield (CP would be MAD if he knew I couldn’t think of the guy’s actual name or his character.) – This season, Al Roker serves as the new focal point. Obviously, this eternally cool fraternity has NOTHING on the Skull’s - especially when it comes to power. I mean when you say something wrong in front of a Yale grad no big X and annoying buzzer jumps into your vision - Roker on the other hand, man I hope I am only right with him; three wrong answers and we are no longer friends!On the show Roker is not questioning his sexuality, nor is he misspelling young females’ made-up names. I would bet though that his groupies do have one thing in common with those of the washed-up rockers who wear eyeliner – bloodline. Hear me out, it will totally make sense. Roker and his jolly laugh have to drive the ladies in the Old Folks Home crazy (in a good way, not what they take the pills for) … Michales on the other hand is the bad boy those women warned their daughters and grandbabies about. Seeing as there have been two complete seasons of Rock of Love, I am guessing neither generation of those once lovely young women didn’t listen to Roker’s Raisin Ranchers and are finding new (read: CREEPY) ways to reconnect and share life experiences (read: jell-o shots and boyfriends). See I told you I had valid logic! Wait a minute! Lightening is striking! Go with me here. I wonder if groupies are all the same and a class for geriatric cane dancing replaces hip (the verb not the body part), young, seductive pole dancing classes later in life; if not, I bet the financial possibilities are endless! OMG, I am not only cute – but I really am smart too!
As usual, I have digressed.
Let’s get back on track and examine the competition on this outstanding show … the Orange County Chopper guys (looking a lot less greasy. I think even Mikey showered for the show!), Margret Cho (VERY FUNNY female comedian, who, much like Bob Saget is better on HBO than ABC), Christopher Knight and America’s Next Top Wife as well as the Bersen's (The patriarch was once a star of the original Law and Order). Of the award winning cast I have mentioned thus far, it is one of Corbin Bernsen's family members who peaked my interest. Yes, with all those choices, below is who I gravitate toward.
I am pretty sure I knew this, but Oliver was introduced as a member of the University of Memphis football roster. (Insert Big Red X here!)
Seeing as I have an inkling of knowledge behind the inner workings of collegiate athletics, I would like to point out that this goober was wearing an untucked button down, which was opened enough that you could see his chest spaghetti poking out of his wife beater. Oh yeah, he was hot stuff. Top that with the fact that he was losing a battle with his electric shaver and I am guessing the tennis shoes he donned were courtesy of the football team. For being the oldest of three boys, two of which who dressed slightly better than the ‘Jo-Bros’
(I want to beat myself up for typing that. No more Disney Channel for me!), he achieved his goal of fulfilling the MEATHEAD stereotype. Look at you, Oliver, you are going to succeed in life. Good job buddy! What do you think he is going to do with all that trust fund cash? If I was a fortune teller, I would predict those aforementioned groupies – young and old alike – would be the answer to that rhetorical question.In addition to critiquing his outfit, (Janice Dickinson has nothing on me) I began doing a bit of mental math – all of this before the first X
(Whammies were so much cooler!) sounded on question one – he is an NCAA student-athlete, on a show where they are going to win money (for charity), and it is late July … 1. How is this legal through the NCAA? Must suck to be their Compliance officer and have the obscure answer to this! 2. More importantly, he should be reporting for football camp soon. Did his coaches really give him some time off to film a show? Looking at Mr. Oliver Bursen I would guess he was a defensive lineman … looking at their roster I would not know because this putz is no longer listed! ... the reason ... He is now on UConn's roster (and he is a DL! Go me!). Total waste of a rant. Stupid proud papa announcing his first born was a player and ‘accidentally’ omitting the word FORMER! I not only wasted time trying to find this goober, but was on the wrong site. Even better once I went HERE he didn't even have a bio for me to read up to learn if he transfered from Memphis to Storrs, Conn. or if his father was just a crazy man. As sad as this is, it totally annoyed me. (Note: I know only three of my friends will feel my pain, but I had to share the story to give my neurosis a face.)
In all reality, I no longer care about this kid and as a DL realize unless he marries a QB's horsey looking sister (COUGH LAURA QUINN), no one is going to care about him anyway.On a somewhat related note, I was forwarded a website that allows you to test your knowledge of college football helmets. Of the 100 listed, I got a 50-50 correct on the first set and 46-50 listed on the second set. Looking back on that previous comment about boycotting the Disney Channel, I might need to add ESPN’s College Game Day to that list – even though I heart Lee Corso, cute little grandpa – because I am pretty sure I am one of only about 45 known females who did not graduate from a school like Utah State, UAB, or Nevada yet can spot their helmets in a heartbeat!
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