Confession Sixteen: I Miss First Day of School Outfits

In my family, we use any reason to shop.

You name the occasion and we have justified an outfit for it (Special thanks to my Mom and her best friend, Ms. Visa!).

One of my favorite reasons to shop, as if I have ever really needed one, was THE … FIRST … DAY … OF … SCHOOL … a practice that would last until at least my freshman year of college. From pre-K through junior high THE outfit was selected, worn with pride, and counted down until I could wear it again. I actually believe brides exist that found their wedding dresses much quicker and with less pain then my first day of school garb.

This outfit would remind people who you should be friends with, where you could sit in the cafeteria and once we got older, proved who was going to be the “choice hottie” that year. (I swam at the shallow end of the school’s pool)

Yes. This much consideration was put into this one coordinated effort and later in life would turn into an entire week’s worth of ‘new threads’.

Hopefully at this point you all are realizing what a cool kid I was, and for many of you, it might be surprising to think that I ever actually did my hair and make-up each morning on top of accessorizing – daily! How else was I supposed to nab a cute upper class boy friend? Once I stopped caring about answering that question, I embraced breaking dress code for the simple reason of wearing a hoodie EVERY DARN DAY.

With all of this in mind I would like to point out that today is CP’s first day of school – being the supportive girlfriend that I am, I watched one of the greatest “education” pieces ever created – BILLY MADISON – to celebrate last night. He, like Veronica Vaughn, will be going to teach, not to learn. CP has seventh graders and we may only have one full year under our belts together on his teaching resume, yet his stories never cease to amaze me. He has kids who carry cell phones (of course!), Vera Bradley purses, and can’t keep track of their voices from one moment to the next. I didn’t get my phone until I went to college, Vera and I became friends after I was legal to vote and there are days I still feel young enough for my voice to crack for no good reason.

I am not sure where the summer went – didn’t we head to Starlake, like, a day ago, to see DMB? – but, consider this my good luck for everyone involved in academia this year. I am going to miss you all.

With that I leave you with another great ‘Overachieving’ career moment…

“I’m Six Months Pregnant …”

The football press box never has a dull moment. Yet, it is a sacred place where one should not be boastful (especially if you are in Boston losing by 100 points due to 67 interceptions.). Depending upon the school, churches are louder than the football press box.

For those who have never been in one, the press box is literally a place like none other. One minute you are grabbing someone coffee – the next you are laughing as your partner in crime is on the sidelines asking some walk-on his name – the third you may be announcing “PurpleMonkeyDishwasher” on the internal PA.

The memorable phrases I have heard in these often media filled sanctuaries could create one of the greatest books ever … if only I would have written them all down at the moment they happened.

My favorite phrase needs never to be written down – only to be repeated with as much gusto as only a fiery red-head could deliver. This sentence was uttered when our punter booted a wind-aided kick that rose in the air only to fall at a much quicker rate – about 15 yards from where he had started.

After that boot, (if you could call it that) one of the distinguished females in our department, who is also one of the women I have respected (and was intimated by) the entire time I have been associated with the University, blurted (and I mean pissed off woman power ) “I can kick farther than that and I am six months pregnant!” Tina Fey could not have timed a more perfect, and accidently comedic, sentence.

I laughed – hard – it was that funny.

To this day I thank God she laughed too – and still does!

Needless to say, our kicking game was suffering one season.
As a matter of fact, it was so bad, our kicker was nicknamed after a Sesame Street character.