Confession Fourteen: JCPenny Ads = NOT COOL!

While watching CBS my anger management monster reared its ugly head. Granted most people would have been annoyed by Two and a Half Men (Charlie Sheen is sort of creepy if you ask me!), but my blood boiled as the JCPenny commercial played over and over again. (I would love to know exactly how much was paid to run that commercial 27 times in a single hour?!)

You may have seen this advertisement – the entire commercial tries to copy the classic the ‘Breakfast Club’ and needless to say THEY DID NOT SUCCEED!

First, whoever suggested JCP should take this route this Back-to-School season is an idiot. Remaking a John Hughes classic in 30-seconds is just as big a slap in the face as the wanna-be-American-Idols rendition of “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” – Simon Cowell where are you and your black t-shirt when we need you most? Was it Paula that allowed this copycat to get a record deal? If so take this as further proof she needs a pretty white jacket, with stylish, long wrap around sleeves and some big shiny buckles on the back of it – just tell her they are totally in this season!

Next let’s discuss the “characters” of this commercial – Oh, nevermind, we can’t because there aren’t any! I have total issues that the young lady portraying Allie Sheedys’ character is wear a Le Tigre dress while pouring the sugar on her sandwich! WTF! I also feel like I can guarantee everyone out there reading that the kid who portrays Anthony Michael Hall’s character thought the director of the commercial was a crazy person when he was asked to sit on the desk and pull the strings of his zipper hoodie. I am extremely annoyed just typing these thoughts and I would like to briefly point out the reason that movie is so great – unlike a normal day in high school - is the movie celebrated the differences of the kids stuck in detention - not their need to wear the same labels!

Now, if you can, please explain, in detail how dressing like everyone reflects any part of that movie. (Guarantee even the BEST BS’ers fail that essay test!)

So far, this abomination remakes a movie that should not have been touched, even when Dawson’s Creek made an honest attempt to, allows the wrong voices to sing a great driving song, and casts a group of dress-a-likes to make a mockery of very classic scenes.

Speaking of those kids – one of the girls, who I am guessing is a model who wanting to ‘break into the business’, is wearing a Nirvana t-shirt. I have the undying urge to play “Come as You Are” or “Smells Like Teen Spirit” in front of her – I swear everyone has heard those songs, that youngin’ HAS to at least be able to hum them. In order to make this game that much trickier, I am going to drop the name Dave Grohl and hope she relates him back to Nirvana and does not mention he is the Foo Fighters front man. For extra security I am going to remind her that I “don’t want to be her monkey wrench.”

When discussing this topic with the big sister she told me I take life too seriously. I say whatever! (This includes the pointer fingers up and the thumbs out – Cher Horowitz style!)

Please take this needless rant as a warning ... Don’t mess with John Hughes! – it’s that easy! If you really want the children of the '80's to band together and boycott I am sure we can do that too! People boycott Wally World for much dumber reasons then what I have presented in this blog!
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Total random side note –
Q. How hot is USA Silver medal sprint Backstroker Matt Grevers?

A. I think every inch of his 6-foot-8 inch frame is probably hotter than the last. Wow. Would I have known who he was had he not just won a medal in the 100 back, probably not, but I am so glad I know now. 6-foot-8 … seriously people do you understand that if I had met him before CP I could have wore whatever shoes I ever wanted; actually with CP being 6-foot-6 I still have ability. Regardless, dude with his West Coast surfer look, even after just getting out of the pool, HOT! And, unlike Michael Phelps he appears about as thick as a swimmer can get. O la la! Oh an our mid-western boy is a smarty pants who swam at Northwestern. (Yes, I totally googled him during the commercial break!)

Let’s take another look at him. … Oh so easy on the eyes.

Confession Unlucky Thirteen: Unlike Most, I Really Am Not Ashamed of My Age - But Please Get It Right!

As I have previously mentioned I am 25 years old.

Seriously people, I am pup, especially when you consider the age of the staff I work amongst, er, I mean the Earth. Yes, I was totally meaning to discuss geological time.

Today, as I was walking back in my office building (read: stadium) from running errands at lunch one of the nice young football players decided to hold the door open for me. “What a nice young man!” I thought to myself – in all honesty I like when the guys think enough NOT to slam the door in my face.

So I say “thank you” and smile then IT happened.

The young man, who was obviously a frosh - seeing as I did not recognize him - says to me:

"Hey, are you the lady that took our pictures for the website? When are they going to be up? "

Actually it wasn’t all that eloquent, but the fact of the matter is he called me THAT LADY?

What is this, am I 40? For goodness sake I have a Facebook account, darnit! I am young and fun!

Granted I should see it as a sign of respect, I guess, but oh, how old do I feel? I might as well suck down a Centrum Silver with a glass of Metamucil for dinner.

I feel as if this was one of those defining moments and Coco and I REALLY need to carry-out our plan to get an MTV show just to prove to everyone how young we are.

She has already made contact with their people and I think the email looked a little like this:

Dear MTV,

The Overachiever and I are way more awesome than any of the current programs that you have on your channel. We could be the next “Rich Girls”, “Girls Next Door”, “The Hills” or “Real World “ (PS – all of these require money so you are going to need to give us a lot!) (PPS – I know the “Girls Next Door” is on E! but you know what I mean MTV – don’t give attitude!). The only thing we haven’t done is get arrested but I am sure that if you let us loose in SoCal we could probably accomplish it without trying (PS – bail money must be written into the contract).

Thank you for your consideration,
Frick and Frack©

PS – TRADEMARKED!! Don’t steal MTV - -- I am onto you!!

PPS – The originators of that nickname are the only people allowed to call us “ladies” – and it must be proceeded by “HEEEEEELLLLLOOOOO”. Oh and it totally helps they are way older than us and will inhabit the Raisin Ranch before we do!